Energy Vampires?
HI, TIME ADVENTURERS!
HOW DO I LOOK? THE SHADES I MEAN!
WHERE AM I?.....
WELL, I TOOK A LITTLE SIDE TRIP TO VAMPIRE ALLEY
.....WHY?....YOU'LL SEE....FOLLOW ME......
FOR A BIG VAMPIRE SURPRISE!
GOSH......SEE WHAT I MEAN?
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE
VAMPIRE WATERMELONS AND PUMPKINS?
NO? WELL LISTEN TO THIS.....
This legend goes way back....The belief in vampires of plant origin occurs
among the Gypsies in the Kosovo-Metohija area. According to them, there are
only two plants which are regarded as likely to turn into vampires: pumpkins of
every kind, and watermelons. They believe that this change takes place when
they are fighting one another. Must get pretty mushy don't you think?
In Podrima and Prizrenski Podgor the gypsies believe this transformation
occurs if the vegetables have been kept for more than ten days: then the
gathered pumpkins stir all by themselves and make a sound like 'brrrl, brrrl,
brrrl!' and begin to shake themselves! Oh my.....must be a scary sight! It is also
believed that sometimes a trace of blood can be seen on the pumpkin, and
that's the sign it has become a vampire. These pumpkins and melons go round
the houses, stables, and rooms at night, all by themselves, and do harm to
people. But it's thought that they can't do
great damage to folk, so people are
not very afraid of this kind of vampire, after all they don't have teeth!
Now, you may ask... How do you destroy these vampire pumpkins and
watermelons? According to legend, you plunge them into a pot of boiling water,
which is then poured away, afterwards the vegetable being is scrubbed by a
broom and then thrown away, and the broom burned. Well, I think that would
certainly do it.....don't you? So be on the lookout for these vampires....and now
you have a way to get rid of them!
What about traditional vampires, like Count Dracula?
Well here's a way to make good use of them!
and also be quite decorative at the same time!
Assuming for a second that vampires actually exist,
I'll leave that up to you to decide....
Why not make a minature Bonsai Vampire Tree? NO...You didn't hear wrong!
Look...it's really quite simple!
Just follow these instructions........
Vampire pumpkins and watermelons are a folk legend from the Balkans, in
southeastern Europe.
How you do that, I'll leave that up to you!
It seems everyone has their own system!
2. Plant the vampire's feet firmly in traditional
rectangular / oval pot filled with cement
8. Your bonsai vampire should be fed every two weeks. Soak
thoroughly with blood (pig's blood will do) and allow to drip dry.
Alternatively, dried blood "pellets" can be obtained from your
local supermarket in the form of black pudding / blood sausage.
Soon you'll have a beautiful, miniature vampire, aesthetically pleasing to the
eye, and a decorative addition to any Goth home. Not only that but, like bonsai
trees, the carefully cultivated vampire should last much longer in the safety
of your home than it would in the wild. A whole new tradition could be started,
with bonsai vampires being passed down from master to pupil, admired and
revered for the art and craft that has gone into their creation!
3. Prune back limbs, head, other appendages, to stunt vampire.
4. Wire new growth into gnarled and twisted styles.
5. Continue pruning as required.
6. Spray daily with holy water to maintain colouration.
7. No more than ten seconds of direct sunlight a day should be
quite sufficient to achieve that all-important *aged* effect.
Now isn't that simple?
Now here's some really weird vampires!
Oh come on Butterbye....how much weirder can a vampire get?

Well......have you heard of Energy Vampires? I thought not!
Energy Vampires are electronic appliances that are constantly using energy-
even when you think they are off! Instead of being all the way off, they go
into “stand-by mode” and suck energy when you’re not using them! Sometimes,
these vampires have a tell-tale sign that can help you catch them — some give
off a little light (like DVD players or microwave oven clocks) and some make
noise like a laptop computer. Others (like a cell phone charger), might be
warm to the touch.
So....what are
Here's a simple way to find out....... and fun for the whole family!
Wait until it's dark.......
AND....... make sure you have you have an adult with you!
Energy Vampires never...... ever...... try to trick you when an adult is with you!
1. Grab a flashlight and turn off all the lights.
2. Turn off everything in your home the way you would normally do at night.
Make sure all the lights are turned off.
How do you know if you have Energy Vampires in your house?
2. Make a tally in the “Vampires Found” column on your “Vampire Hunter’s
Notes” sheet for every vampire you find.
Where is my Vampire Hunter's Note Sheet?
Just click on Clem Hog to take you to the challenge!
UPW BUTTERBYE'S VAMPIRE MAGIC TIME PORTAL
BLUE FLAME
BLUE FLAME
UPW BUTTERBYE IN DISGUISE
1. Catch a vampire.
3. Go outside and look at your electric meter. Is it running, even though
everything is supposedly “off”? If yes, you’ve got vampires.
So how do you catch an Energy Vampire?
1. Sneak through each room in your home, and investigate each item plugged
into an electrical outlet. Look for lights, listen, and touch possible vampires to
see if they are warm.
Remember to make a mark for each vampire you see- so if you find more than
one of the same kind of vampire (like two lighted alarm clocks) make a tally for
each of them.
Look no further, just click on the Battie twins to print out your Note Sheet!
How do you become an Energy Vampire Slayer?
Turn vampires all the way off when you’re done with them. Sometimes this
means unplugging them. This works especially well with smaller appliances like
toasters, CD players, and toothbrush or cell phone chargers.
For bigger vampires—things that can’t be turned off all the way, like
microwave oven clocks, or a DVD player, it gets harder. One way to keep these
vampires away is to replace them with a new version with the ENERGY STAR ®
label on it.
Use a power strip for all your computer equipment, to completely disconnect
the energy vampires from the power source. When you’re done using the
computer, just turn off the power strip to turn everything all the way off.
Beware of power strips that are vampires themselves though, as some have
constant lights.
After you have slayed the Energy Vampires become an
Official Energy Hog Buster!
Learning about energy is fun!
Take the Energy Hog Challenge...
Learn good energy-saving habits....
Help your family learn to save money by reducing their energy bill, and
Protect your Natural Resources not only for today but for the future!
Where are the others? Well.......let me gaze into my crystal ball......
Mmmmmm........very interesting......strange......weird........yes.......
Where are they? I'm not going to tell !
You'll just have to warp into their time portals!
This article and photos are excerpted from material on Wikipedia® and distributed under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License
Music from the album Calling All Fiends Compilation, MusicDevil's Candy Shop by Nigel Simmons
and licensed under the Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs
Bonsai Vampires republished courtesy of HalfBakery.com